SteveO

I did read it I was waiting for a response from you for two days I had to read it. In what you wrote you used words like ”loved me” and “couldve been”, which lets me know that you are completely over me, I accept that fully. I tried but I didnt try hard enought, im so dumb and relentless when it came to you that I thought I was going to go psychotic lol, your that type of girl that can make a young man like me do that. You were and still to this day have been the best thing that ever happened to me I couldnt have hated you or hate you no matter how hard I tried to show it. I miss talking to you also but I dont think we could do that yet give me some time, maybe when I come back from bootcamp.. If your wondering why am I going to bootcamp I would be happy to tell you that Im going into the Marine corps I start bootcamp in July. Its very exciting and I cant wait. Also my lil brothers ask about you somtimes and wonder why they dont see you on the computer anymore, I told them that you went away and youll be back but after awhile they realized that your probably not coming back lol. But in all I miss you and miss the time we had together, if I could go back and do it again I would except for the bad days ofcourse.

Im sorry that I had to lead you away in such a mean way, Im sorry that I had to make you cry for so many nights, Im sorry that I couldnt be there when you neede me the most, But now your happier and more free, you dont have to worry about me, my jealousy, or my horrible ways. Im happy that your happy, I think about you everyday. I could wake up in the middle of the night and your the one thats on my mind. I cursed at you as my last words to you but If I didnt we would probably still be talking and you would I would still be making you unhappy. Im probably the last person you want to hear from and you probably dispise or hate me, and its quit alright you have every reason to be. But just know that I still love you and your always on my mind.

The death of Bin laden has impacted so many americans in a good way, especially the people that lost love ones on 9/11. Though he was a man full of evil and hate towards the american people, we shouldnt celebrate for anyones death. God created us all from his image but he didnt create us with evil and hate, we made that choice and decision if any of us grew up the same way Bin Laden did we would probably hate america to. We shouldnt hate the man but only hate his actions. Now dont get me wrong If it were my love ones that was killed in the 9/11 attack I would want to kill him myself also, but after he dies what difference does it makes it wont bring back any of our love ones. and soon enough we will die, and for those that didnt live a life of full faith would just end up where he is. We not need to celebrate of his death but rejoice on the relief of a bad leader. Ask yourself what would Jesus do? we as people are no where near to the type of person Jesus was, but yet we still have that feeling that we are going to heavin, but let me tell my friends just because you have accepted GOD in your life does not mean your going to heavin. We all accept him and go back to our usuall ways that is not right. Bin laden is dead and we need to move on and forget, Our threats to america only rises more.

how about someone that secretly never stopped loving you.

(Source: aye-kyle)

Wow! like really I cant believe this actually happened, my mother the one that created me has now passed away! I dont understand she wasnt suppose to go yet, she was suppose to still be here and I was suppose to go visit her in November and everything was suppose to be good and dandy! Once again life has hit me with somthing unexpected, everytime this happens it makes me more afraid on going on to the next day, what will happen then? Though I seen my MOM only a couple times in my life I still know that shes the women that conceived me, I still now that shes the women tat loves me no matter what, I know she is in a much better place but my duties of making her life on earth a better place has failed, I cant possibly think of a more pathetic son like me, all she wanted to do was see me, and I couldnt give her that much. Mom I know your probably watching down over me now but im soory for everything, im sorry for letting you see me, Im sorry for hurting you, But Ill always love you, Ill always have you in my heart because your my MOM the women that carried me around for 9 months and breast fed me, changed me, and took care of me! Ill love always Mom. But now you are reunited with my dad and I know he is happy to see you. Thank you MOM for loving me when no else did, thank you mom for giving me life. Your son Woodmire Lucien.

In the past hour Ive been wondering somthing but never got my answer for it! I just want to know so I dont stress out to much and keep thinking, Ill still think about whats happening but Ill have my other question answered?

The last time I was on here I wrote so much! but I was just not understanding life! then a month went by and just like that I lost more then I bargoned for! this is not like me to do such a thing! I have to follow my heart instead of my mind but I am just so heavy minded that I always end up following my mind! I took so much away from me, my life took a turn that I never thought possible, It showed me that at anytime or anywhere you could loose everything you worked so hard to get in a blink of an eye! the past month made me not be scared of death because thats what death does to you and you never expect it to come! I learned not to ever take life for granted but to charish every moment of it, especially with your love ones and the one you loved! Time will never stop but continue and you can never change the past! but you can always make your future a better place and enviroment for yourself! Ive made mistakes that I wanted 3rd chances for, Ive made mistakes that I continuosly make, Ive made mistakes that hurt more then the people around me, but those who are closes to me! Im willing to accept all consequence! Its time that I make a better me! What a Month!

Ok so im here once again madd, about what you may ask? about the fact that what ever it is I try to do in life I always end up failing. I try to keep a possitive mind set and dont let it get to me, but its to hard when you just keep failing. Another thing why do I have to be so far away from the one I love? Why? is it because I might do somthing or somthing might happen? I want to know the answers to these questions. Do you life, have some kind of power to set up things so that they can go wrong, because it seems like whenever I try to do somthing the right way you come in take it away from me! All I want to do is keep my girl happy, be with her, hold her, and tell her I love her face to face, this sucks I cant do that because im so far away. Now when I do anything or try do anything fun or productive with her it just seems like a total fail. Somtimes I want to give life a piece of my mind but its impossible. THIS FUCKING SUCKS LIKE SERIOUSLY YOU CANT EVEN LET ME BE WITH MY GIRL THATS ALL I ASK IS TO BE WITH HER TO MAKE HER HAPPY BUT NOOOOOOO YOU WANT TO KEEP ME WAY IN FLORIDA AND KEEP HER IN NEWYORK. SHIT MAN WHATEVER LIFE HAS PLAN FOR ME NEXT I HOPE ITS BETTER THEN WHAT IM DOING NOW. It hurts, it feels like someone is trying to kill me and is using my girl to do it, and the worst part about it I cant do shit about it. Rechelle if you evr read this or plan on reading this, Im sorry ok, Im sorry for not being there for you and keeping you happy, Im sorry for not loving you the right way, but im not sorry for being a boyfriend that cares and worries about you, I cant stand the fact of what some of these guys do and I cant do shit about it, I dont want you to think I dont love because Rechelle if I had to pick right at this moment to go to heavin or be with you I wuld stay here with you Rechelle, and I know GOD might be mad at me for saying that but I love you Rechelle and I love GOD to but heavin is forever and your just for a lifetime. I want to keep you for that time being Rechelle but when these guys try to get at you some being your friends it worries me, I know it makes you mad but it makes me mad to because they see a girl that has no one there with her and they automatically think your single and would want them! and i cant do shit about it. FUCK! Rechelle I cant live life with out you, I want you to stop crying I want to stop crying too. Why does it have to be this way? Rechelle whats next in our lives with each other, will you leave me? will we leave each other! will fate bring us closer together or am I just going to be like this forever? Im a man and I never cried like this even when I got whoopins as a little boy, but this, this unfairness of life, this poision, this disease, makes me wake up in the mornig crying! where ever you are Rechelle I love you, Ill always love you and you have my word I wont stop loving you! your my life Im still in a better condition in life because of you, you motivate me to move on in life, You help my life worth somthing to live for. I told myself that I wolud never attempt to kill myself ever again but you being so far away keeps breaking me down. I need you Rechelle I STEVE MIKE YOOKO SAINTIL NEEDS YOU RECHELLE ROSE I dont know if anyone else in this world needs you as much as I do but really need you, youve put this curse over me and I dont want to get rid of it. Why do I need you? because in life you always have a dream about being someone that you could do anything with, and that if they werent their you wouldnt persue to do anything in life, Rechelle your the one that I dream about I dont like anyone else your the sexiest girl in my eyes, your my super model, your my angel, no one else would compare to you, no matter who they are. Your more then just a girlfriend Rechelle your my closest and best friend, your my gun at war, your my shelter when im homless, and its because I need you. Rechelle please I love you and I dont want to hold you back I just want to have your back! I love you!

Im tired of not being able to do the things that make you happy.

Im tired of not being able to sing the perfect song to you with the perfect instrument.

Im tired of not being able to be with you when you need me the most.

Im tired of hurting your eelings more when your already feeling down.

Im tired of being far away.

Im tired of letting you feel like you need somone else.

Im tired of being sorry.

I dont know how im going tobe able to do this.